Sont De Mots Qui Vont Tres Bien Ensemble

Dear Children:

One sure sign of emotional health is that we do things repeatedly that work well for us. Repeatedly doing things that serve us ill is called neurosis. It is a good thing to maximize actions which add to our sense of wellbeing and limit those things that are harmful. Healthy children learn this early on in subtle and important ways – a behavior that gets us what we want from Daddy may not have the same effect on Mommy or schoolmates and teachers. Somehow the well adjusted learn to tailor their behavior to fit the circumstances in which they find themselves. The poorly socialized among us insist that harmful behavior needs to be repeated enough times for its effectiveness to show through. Life is hard on such people.
To see this principle in action, one need go no further than the Congress of the United States.

The fight for leadership of the 112th Congress began in earnest the day after November 2nd. The Republicans had put on an impressive show of electoral muscle. Most pundits are saying that after the parade passes by and all the chads have been swept up, Republicans shall have gained at least 60 and maybe 62 seats in the lower chamber.

John Boehner, the current minority leader, is the presumptive choice for Speaker of the House of Representatives. He is a true character in a long tradition of true characters that have stomped political ground in this country since the Mayflower Compact. Mr. Boehner from Ohio is a Daddy figure like William Howard Taft. He ought to be the easiest man in the world to please – just give him exactly what he wants.

It’s the rest of the leadership field that will be fun to watch. The three remaining positions are Majority Leader, Majority Whip and Chairman of the Republican Conference. Like most jobs worth fighting over, there is s nice but modest salary bump that goes with the position. Last time I checked the Whip, for instance, gets about $12,000 more per annum than a garden variety Congressman.

And, like all political jobs worth fighting for, it isn’t just the money. It’s the staff. In Washington, like lots of other places, the bigger the staff the bigger the stick with which to wield influence. The word “staff”, as you know, means both a set of servants and a corrective stick. The Whip, for example, has a staff salary budget of about $1.6 million plus payroll associated costs (read healthcare, pension and social security costs), office space and furnishings, travel, communications, consultants, use of the Congressional Budget Office, gym, Library of Congress, paper clips and birthday cup cakes.

The most fun contender for a job like that will be Michele Bachmann representing Minnesota’s 6th congressional district. When she was seated in January of 2007, she became (incredibly) only the third woman to represent Minnesota in Congress and first republican woman from Minnesota to so serve. She has announced that she is a candidate for the position of Chairman of the House Republican Conference – the fourth most important position.

Leadership positions in the House as well as the Senate are usually available to those who have campaigned for and contributed financially to making the Republican Caucus as large as possible. Ms. Bachmann has certainly done that. Because her seat was safe this last cycle, she campaigned all around the country on behalf of Tea Party candidates. She has a huge campaign funding base and Political Action Committee that allowed her to be generous with her poor cousins on the hustings. Her stump speeches were well received by the faithful and the dough appreciated by the poor relations. There is at least one anecdote from Election Day about a woman in Minnesota who pitched a fit and refused to take a ballot because Michele Bachmann was not on it. Never mind that the voter was registered in a different congressional district.

So, you ask: What will make that fun?

There are two more things you should know. Remember I said Tea Party? This is a movement that, regardless of its bone fides as a political juggernaut and as a legitimate group of citizens redressing grievances before its government, got its start and first strapped on its spurs by joining the most outrageous, rude, tasteless, disrespectful shows at town hall meetings hosted by Members of Congress. You remember the shouting and foaming with no opportunity for reply and the deep embarrassment felt by other attendees?

Don’t get me wrong. Members of Congress are big boys and girls who have taken worse lickings and continued ticking. Don’t waste any sympathy on them. Focus instead on the idea that they are Members of Congress who hew to the idea that getting mad is decidedly inferior to getting even. Corollary is the certainty that what can happen to one Member of Congress on one issue at one time can happen to another Member of Congress on another issue at another time. That sort of behavior has never been countenanced in the Washington corridors of power. It’s not likely to start now. It’s an article of faith among the grown-ups that what goes around comes around.

Another strong tradition of the House that won’t go away in the face of a tantrum is the idea that one earns one's place in the leadership by dint of toil for the leadership. She will need to claw her way past some senior members making a few more enemies in the doing.

And then we have the threat. If she doesn’t get Chair of the Republican Conference, she’ll form her own caucus. This would be “The Conservative Constitution Caucus”. A caucus is a group of like-minded Members with its own funding and staff. Other examples are the Blue Dog Democrats and the Congressional Black Caucus. Lesser known ones go by names like The Democratic Israeli Caucus and The Kidney Caucus. There are a great many caucuses, task forces and working groups. One Member displays prominently on her web site the 35 or so caucuses that claim her membership.

Not to worry: while expensive, caucuses are funded by the taxpayers and often supplemented with lobbyist money. So far, so good with two problems: Another caucus is just one more example of government spending and, more important, The Republican Party already sees itself as conservative and deeply reverential toward the constitution. Worse yet, from the leadership point of view, such a caucus would be peopled by Members who wear Reynolds Wrap hats to better receive massages from space aliens. All parties will allow swift-boating of enemies but deeply fear turn-about. Its fair game to tell whoppers during a campaign but irresponsible to feather a nest for the unpredictable or supply weaponry (staff) to those who value ideological purity over reasoned debate.

Some of the issues that Republican leaders knew better but let slide in this way are: $500 billion gutted from Medicare, death panels, $2 billion presidential trips, Nancy Pelosi’s 747, voting with Nancy Pelosi X% of the time, the stimulus created no jobs, the American People are overwhelming against Healthcare Reform, only we listen to the people, we have a plan for lowering the national debt, Mr. Obama is a Muslim. Mr. Obama is constitutionally unqualified for office, Mr. Obama is a Socialist, Mr. Obama is a Nazi, and the 16th Amendment is a fraud, the 14th Amendment decided wrong-headedly and the 2nd Amendment Holy Writ.

Lets say your name is John Boehner: Do you want that in the councils of the mighty? That is the fun part: how to reward an untrustworthy ally. Mark my words. John Boehner, who purports to brook no compromise, will begin to sputter (his face a brighter shade of orange) on this and many related issues. Hissy fits and intimidation will not prevail. We will see a disappointed Michele Bachmann.

Let me hasten to add that Republicans have not cornered the market on lies, damn lies, venality, pettiness, and childish displays of outrage or, for that matter, selective intellectual discipline. We will learn plenty about Democrats as these pages unfold. This is not intended as a partisan blog.

But … please. Just because we can point to similar foibles on the part of “the other guy”, it’s hardly a reason to minimize or condone it. Lets start with the little things just to see if principles can’t be applied broadly enough to provide guidance in our public discourse. For now, lets hope there are enough well adjusted adults around for a start.

I’m just sayin’

Poppy