Glossary And Shinery

Dear Ryan:

You are last because you are the youngest. Of course, that would be a pain for a lesser personage than you. You are the strong, silent type -- the one in charge -- the potentate who has merely to lift a pinky to command attention and respect. I always picture you as the calm, steady, unmoved gibraltarian in the hubbub. It is a quality that will serve you well in your life as the boss.

So, just for you, is some useful information to understand what’s going on in the gym.

LATS BIS PECS ABS GLUTES DELTS QUADS TRAPS HAMMIES

You’d think people who pump all that iron could manage the weight of a whole term in their mouths. ‘Tain’t so. These are the first muscles one trains as part of a strengthening program. LATISSIMUS DORSI is the large, fan-shaped back muscle that extends from your middle back, along the spine to the hip and up to the armpit, BICEPS are the muscles on the front of the arm between the elbow and shoulder (you figure out what Tris are), PECTORAL muscles are the thick, fan-shaped muscle group situated at the upper and forepart of the chest, ABDOMINALS are the tummy muscles that so fascinate Hip Hop artists and their groupies, GLUTEUS muscles are the largest (it figures) muscles in your body...your butt muscles, DELTOIDS are shoulder muscles that come in three parts or “heads”; front, medial (side) and rear, QUADRICEPS are the four muscles on the front of the thigh between the knee and the hip joint, Trapezius muscles run from neck to shoulders and down back along the spine and (my personal favorite) the HAMSTRING, is the muscle on the back of the legs from glutes to knees.

I believe you are old enough to know what guns and wheels are.

Hardbodies are those who have trained for an extended period with some success. These folks are also ripped, buff, cut, striated, shredded, jacked and muscleheaded.

Backfat refers to the fat on your upper back in your lat area.

An FSQ is an abbreviation for front squat. Don’t ask.

Burn is the uncomfortable sensation, produced by the buildup of lactic acid and other metabolites, felt in the muscle being worked. Some actress popularized the phrase “feel the burn”. Don’t bother.

Calorie is short for kilocalorie or the amount of heat required to raise 1 kg of water 1º Centigrade. It is a unit of energy.

Clean and Jerk: A lift calling for the weight to be raised from floor to overhead in two movements.

Clean and Snatch: A lift where the weight is raised from floor to overhead at arms' length in one motion.

Test question: What is a Clean?

A Muscle Spasm is a sudden, involuntary contraction of a muscle or muscle group that hurts like the very devil.

Congestive Heart Failure is the inability of the heart muscle to pump the blood at a life-sustaining rate -- just north of dead.

On the iPod today was a musical called Little Shop of Horrors. The music is terrific. The story is about appeasement of an oppressor and how difficult it is to reverse oppression once we empower it.

Much Love,

Poppy