What's In Your Pocket; Change?

Dear Kids:

Last night I ate everything. I do not exaggerate. After 10:00 pm, I consumed two pork chops, about a half-pound of previously frozen corn with blue cheese dressing, four double-handfuls of wavy potato chips and one toasted Breadsmith Russian Rye Dinner Roll with butter.

That after-ten thing is significant. That’s when real bonus eating takes place. What’s up with that?

There are a couple things that seem true. When I’m getting enough sleep, it doesn’t happen. And, when my life is otherwise regular and predictable, it doesn’t happen.

Simple, you say. Why not cultivate regular habits and get enough sleep? These truths didn’t occur to me a moment ago. I’ve known about them since the Second Nixon Administration. The former appears to be contrary to my character and the latter appears to be contrary to my temperament.

The question is: How grievously may I hate the symptoms when the cause is so dear? If we are wedded to our partiality, we needn’t quibble over the practical upshot.

Am I missing something? I'm saying we are obliged to accept those things that necessarily follow from what is entrenched. Could we change it anyway? If we could make a change, is it worth the struggle?

It’s something to think about.

While you’re at it, think about what that has to do with Aretha Franklin. I think about her a lot. She's got it all including a beautiful and expressive voice, enviable phrasing and passionate Gospel sensibilities. I’ve loved every minute listening to her recordings. I even saw her up-close once galumphing down Halsted Street. Her love songs were on the ipod today.

Just don’t take her love song lyrics too seriously. The lyrics come in two categories:

I love you and here’s why, plus

There’s nothing wrong with me but if you change just one little thing all will be well.

The first is okay.

The second category is trouble. As described above, as individuals we don’t change easily. Relationships are exponentially more difficult. It's not just an issue of one party’s culpability, it’s that the other party is blameless.

Don’t believe it. In every relationship, there are at least two of you. In fact, two is the irreducible number that people come in. Pair is normative. So, not only is it unlikely someone else will change but, when a relationship goes south, there’s plenty of blame to share. First look to the contribution you make to any enterprise. After that, it’s okay to scrutinize the other.

Much Love,

Poppy