Twenty-Four Hour Bug

Dear Cori:

Today is the first day of my public quest for fitness. As you can see from yesterday's post, I have had a few periods of sensible eating and vigorous exercise that have resulted in weight loss and a start toward cardiovascular health. Those periods were always followed by phases of weight gain and deteriorating health. It is my hope that if, this time, I share my goals with you, the other grandchildren and the rest of the world, I might summon the strength to make a life-time lifestyle change.

Of course, I want to be slimmer and better looking. More importantly I want to watch you grow up some more. I figure that through a combination of God's grace and my own effort I can see you started on a family and children of your own. Right now, I'm shooting for 30 or so more years -- time for selfish enjoyment of all things Corneille.

The past 24 hours tell a story. Last night I went to a super bowl XLII party. There could not be a more perfect challenge at the buffet. Every nasty food group was represented. You know those smallish over-sweet meatballs? There was gloppy spinach dip in a bread bowl. There were buttery crackers and phony cheese galore. The chicken wing food group was there along with the baked beans with fatback group. And, just for the sake of confusion, there were healthful spears of asparagus wrapped in a ham-like material.

To be fair to our host, there were also hunks of broccoli and cauliflower as well as offerings of celery and radish. Of course, next to these paragons of rectitude was a cauldron of ranch dressing.

And then there was the beer -- German lager; unfiltered wheat; dark stout; premium domestics; imported Mexican and Chinese -- just to name a few; calling and mocking me from their chilly caves and niches.

What to do?

I had a few naked vegetables, one of the asparagus thingies and one generous scoop of those glorious meatballs. I cannot describe how unsatisfying it was. Injury was added upon being persuaded by some smugness of mind not to have any beer. I stared way too long at the frosty mugs. Pornography comes in all forms.

At home there was a small portion of left-over red cabbage and white brat along with a helping of microwaved frozen corn seasoned with lo-cal french dressing. I went to bed in a snit.

This morning saw a new day and a bowl of grape nuts with some fruit out of a formerly frozen bag. There was a cup of coffee laced with a dollop of sugar substitute.

Thus fortified, the gym awaited. More about that tomorrow. The workout routine was satisfied and made palatable by an ipod load of Luciano Pavarotti "World's Best Loved Arias".

I just now weighed myself. I lost weight. The cost was very high.

With Much Love,

Poppy